Migraine

My migraines are back with a vengeance. I've always been prone to terrible headaches but for the past few days, they have been really bad. And it didn't help that baby kept waking up in the middle of the night. She would sit up and cry, and it would take me up to one hour each time to get her back to sleep.

If the pain doesn't lessen over the next week, I guess I have to see a doctor. My BFF gets severe migraines too and she keeps popping what she calls her "happy pills". Guess I will need proper migraine medication if this goes on.

As for my PND status, well, I don't need to go for appointments anymore. My case is still an open one though (and will be until baby turns 1) and I was told to return immediately should depressive symptoms re-emerge. Hopefully, I won't ever have to step into that room again.

Lunch

Finally, after 6 months, my mother felt confident enough to take care of baby on her own for a while without me around.

I grabbed the opportunity to meet up with my best friend for a quick lunch. It was great to meet her outside for once, and without a screaming baby by my side. She looked a tad tired though, probably because of her job. She works for a fashion magazine and glamorous as it seems, it's hell. She told me about the politics, competition, bitchiness and for once, I actually felt relieved I'm no longer working. And yes, the emphasis on appearance is always there. She hates it and is dying to get out.

After an hour, and multiple messages from my bag-of-nerves mother, I hopped into a cab and rushed home. When I got back, my mother looked awfully relieved. She admitted though, that things weren't as bad as she thought they would be.

You know, as much as I love my mother, her panicky nature often makes me wonder how she managed to bring my sister and I up.

Well, she said she is "brave enough" to be with baby alone more often and for longer periods from now on. I really hope she means it so I can finally take a breather sometimes...

"Remember You Are Not The One PAYING"

I really hate that statement.

To cut a long story short, hubby and I had a huge argument last night which ended with him saying "Remember you are not the one paying."

It's such an unfair statement. I know I'm not working and thus not bringing in any money, but how could he say that?

It hurt like hell.

Everyone's Leaving!

More and more people whom I love and care about are leaving! My sister will be moving to Melbourne for a year with her family next April, and now my best friend is thinking of relocating to Hong Kong!

Everyone seems to want to be away so much! As for me, I just want to stay put here.

Nostalgia

I just received news that a good friend of mine is relocating to Shanghai with her husband. They are newly-weds and very much in love. When I heard the news, I couldn't help but think back to the time before baby came along. Hubby and I were very much in love too then. He says he still "loves me as much as before" but well, things just don't seem the same to me from my point of view. Maybe it's because we are apart.

I wish my dear friend the best in Shanghai, and may she and her hubby be madly in love forever and ever.

Thank GOD!

What a relief! My period is here! I've never been so relieved in my life!

And good news, sort of. There is a chance my hubby may return to SG! Nothing is confirmed for now but there is a chance nonetheless! I'm really hoping this goes through. Many people have told me to just bring baby over to wherever my hubby is. Well, some women are confident enough to do it and I applaud them. I'm not one of them though. Before baby came along, I thought I was one of these women. I was so sure I could take baby away. Now that baby is actually here, I realise it isn't so easy. So, please, please, please, please get my hubby back HERE....!

No No No

I missed my period. It's been a few days. I'm terrified I may be pregnant again.

Please, please, please, no, no, no. I don't know what I would do.